Lessons in Literature
by ThyHuntress
Summary: For some reason, lesson in the human's choice of romance novels, furthered into something else...A one-shot


A/n

**Disclaimer: All of the below shown under the weird indication belong to their rightful owners. Any original plot, characters, or items labeled are legally bonded to the author. Copyright not intended but if needed then accepted.**

Hmm, I had this idea when I was reading an A/H fanfic and when I remembered how much I hated romance novels like Twilight. Tell me if it`s good or not. I am not very good at writing romances that aren`t cheesy and cliché. Not in my forte nor is the characterization.

Sincerely,

ThyHuntress

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With a frown, Holly looked up at the grand double doors that were blocking her way into the Manor`s library. The palms of her hands pressed against the wooden surface, she pushed against the middle and they opened, revealing the library.

As she strolled in, her gaze skimmed across everything in this ostentatious room. Smiling, she looked around, trying to find where Artemis was. Butler _had _said he was in here.

'_Where is he then_?' Holly thought as she slid of her wings and stacked it against a wall. She slipped off her helmet and laid it down on a desk that deemed to be made of mahogany wood. Her hands often wondered around, sliding across the smooth wood of the tall bookshelves lined in rows.

No doubt in saying this room was enormous. With the mazes of books, shelves, and deep corners, she was pretty sure she would get lost pretty easily if her concentration was not intact, and the dim light wouldn`t be helping either.

Although she understood it was an addition to the warm, mysterious setting, she still wondered why lacking in light would still be a good thing. Perhaps it had something to do with rich Mud Men clichés. The next thing , she`d be expecting a roaring fireplace along per a red robe-cladded man with a coffee-filled mug in his hand and a smoke pipe in his mouth, sitting in a velvet recliner set next to the fire.

The thought of Artemis like that made Holly giggle. When she realized her action, her hand covered her mouth. She had never giggled before. Laugh, snorted—yes, she had done those, but never giggle. Alright, so maybe once or twice it happened in her younger days, but not often now. Perhaps that image was too funny?

Ignoring what she had done, Holly stopped at a particular bookshelf containing many medium-sized novels. Knowing that trying to find Artemis would probably be a while, she decided to do a little reading. Police work and life-threatening adventures had taken up most of her time so her reading hadn`t been much improved with the long delays. And she hadn`t really had a taste of Mud Man literature either.

She picked out a thin novel from the lower-right section and sat down on a nearby couch that was undoubtedly placed there for relaxation. Her gaze lowered to the books cover which showed a young woman in the hands of a shirtless man, kissing. Already having a feeling this wasn`t going to be good, she ignored the title and moved on to the first chapter. It is such a shame that her curiosity had gotten the better of her.

Time passed as she read the despicable novel. She only got to the middle of the story when she finally set down the book in disgust, although she did keep track on where her page number was, remarkably.

Still wanting to pass time, she decided that, hopefully, there was another book that wouldn`t be in such clichés and romance-disgusts with sex, forbidden love, and arrogant cheatings on the heroine`s fiancé. It remained in her ghastly luck that she ended finding a few more of the romance novels in the farther areas of the library.

And she, surprisingly, skimmed through them, trying to get a real taste on what Mud Man literature. Right now, her taste was telling her that this sour—sour as lemons.

By the time she reached the more darker end of the library, she was walking along the corridors with two novels staked in her hands, reading the top one with sneers and occasional thoughts of disgust that are censored due to the fact that there are teenagers reading this. The language was too _foul_ to be mentioned.

Holly leaned against the side of a bookshelf as she flipped to the next page where the event in the story was the continuing of the heroine and hero, ahem, _busying_ their selves after a passionate make-out scene that was much more descriptive than Holly wanted to know.

"D`arvit," Holly muttered when there was unquestionably _stimulating _factor. "How much more disgusting can this get."

"Problems, Captain?" asked a voice behind her.

Practically jumping in surprise, Holly jumped around—her head nearly colliding with the shelf`s side—and nearly punching that person in the face, when she saw it was only Artemis. He stood with a thick volume in his hands, appearing particularly amused.

"Oh, I apologize. Did I frighten you?" he asked, the corners of his lips lifting up into a smirk.

Holly rolled her eyes and punched on the shoulder, lightly. She was happy to see him, yet she still wanted to beat him for scaring her that. Too bad her hands were full.

When she gave him no answer, Artemis`s smirk widened at the victory of winning this round of what would have been an argument. He glanced down at the objects in her hands—one opened while the other was closed—and was appalled to see that they were romance novels.

"Mud Man romance literature are so cliché and horrible," Holly said. "Why do you even have these in here?"

Artemis looked at her. "To be truthful, I have no such idea why."

Rolling her eyes, Holly glanced behind him and saw a small study area set up. It was mostly just a small desk set on a red rug, and small floor lamp. To her surprise, all that was pushed into a deep bend.

"What are you doing?" asked Holly, glancing at the still-turned-on laptop on the desk. She set the books in her hands down on a table pressed against a bookshelf`s side. It could have been her imagination, but she swore she saw Artemis blush.

"It`s nothing," he said, hurrying back to the laptop and attempting to shut it down.

"Oh come on! Let me see," Holly said, grinning at him. What could be that embarrassing for Artemis?

One hand already set on the power button and the other trying to ward off Holly, Artemis tried to shut the laptop down, but Holly managed to sneak a look that was long enough to see what he was busy with.

The sight she saw surprised her as she blinked. "You…write romance novels?"

A small blush appearing on his cheeks, Artemis shut the laptop down and turned to face her. "Yes and no. I write romance novels, but just as an occasional attempt to work off boredom. Butler does seem to enjoy them," he said.

Holly shook her head as she started to laugh. Artemis sat down in his chair, and stared at her in anger as she sniggered at him.

When her laughter decreased, Holly sighed and sat down on Artemis`s desk, surprising him by that action.

"Frond, I can`t believe you write those. Mud Man romance novels suck," she said. "They are just about having sex at the weirdest times, forbidden love, and cheating on one another. Cliché and horribly over-dramatic." She reached over and picked up one of the novels she left of the table.

Artemis leaned back in his chair and grabbed the novel from Holly, flipping through it. "I suppose I would agree with you on that."

"I mean the heroine and hero seem to have sex at every moment possible," Holly said. "Why?"

Artemis raised an eyebrow at her. "Many people enjoy that for the pleasure of it, I suppose. Must I give a lesson on this, Captain?"

Not done with her rant and ignoring his last part said, Holly stared at him. "And the cheating, affairs with the human secretaries and best friend`s girlfriends, and the horribly-written smut and sexual tensions between teens?"

Not feeling the least uncomfortable about explain this to one of his only female friends, he put a finger to his chin, thinking thoughtfully. "Very well. If there must be a lesson on this, then it shall be." He ignored the glare Holly gave him. "It`s for the entertainment, Holly. Some people like to enjoy the tension that goes on between a fight for a female or, perhaps, a male. To them, it`s interesting to read about on-going drama between lovers that is most unnecessary. Excuse me because the explanation of why humans often like romance novels is not my specialty for even a genius rejects to know about certain objectives, but I am undisputable that this is mostly because the literature that comes from the novels please readers who have not, ahem, experienced it yet. Over-dramatic heartbreaks, affairs, and sexual tensions that seem much too young for others—my only meticulous guess is that they seem to like what their own experiences would be. So to sum up a lecture that you might not understand up in some words—it is for the pleasure and entertainment, and people understand that there are many out there who like reading horribly-written eroticism."

Resisting the urge to say 'like you did', Holly crossed her arms, and Artemis tried not to look at how her chest was pushed upwards.

Artemis flipped and laid it down on the desk, the opposite side facing up. He glanced at his closed laptop, then back to Holly who was scowling at him. She sighed and supported her weight by pressing the palms of her hands against the desk`s surface.

"Fine, I get what you mean, but at least you have to agree with me that the forbidden love is not enjoyable," she said, irritably. She waited for him to nod and agree with her, but that`s not what happened.

Smiling in a kind (which was strange) and softened way, Artemis shook his head while empathizing no. "Actually, I disagree with you. Forbidden love is quite enjoyable."

Holly frowned at his answer. The genius thought forbidden love was enjoyable? "What?" She flinched, slightly, at his intense gaze that was turned to her face. For a moment, her eyes flickered to his lips, but it turned back to deep blue eyes, which might not have been a good idea because she often got lost in them.

"Must I give you another lesson?" Artemis asked, smiling. "Romeo and Juliet is a fascinating story in which I can explain to you about why people enjoy that."

When Holly shook her head, he gave her a slight nod in victory for another win of an argument that would have happened.

"I just want to know why you would like those," Holly said, confused.

Artemis gave her a truthful smile, and looked down at his fingers that were locked with each other. "I would like those, because I wish it was a reality to me." He kept his gaze back on Holly, seeing what her reaction would be.

Even more confused, Holly stared at him, trying to figure out the meaning of his words. "You wish it was a reality to you? Why would you...oh…"

"Exactly," said Artemis. His voice was low and hopeful. "So, just to ask you a question for this lesson—can you give me a chance?"

Holly stared at him, shocked.

With some hesitation, Artemis leaned up. He put a finger on Holly`s chin and guided her face to his. Looking deep into her eyes, he leaned in and kissed her on the lips.

Five seconds passed by before Holly pulled back. She blinked and looked away from Artemis, leaning away from him, a little. Obviously thinking that she was rejecting him, Artemis sighed and glanced at the floor. For a moment, he did not speak. When he did, his voice was solemn and the words were forced out.

"Very well. Now if there aren`t any more needed lessons on the subject of romance—"

Holly interrupted him by scooting off his desk, and sitting down in his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck, tugged his face closer to hers, and enjoyed the traumatized look on his face before kissing him.

Needless to say, Holly and Artemis felt pleasured by the kiss that was far more passionate than other two they shared before.

They enjoyed the kiss until air was needed between them. Dazed, Artemis pulled back first, breathing hard. Even with her heavy gasps, Holly raised an eyebrow at him.

"Does that answer the question to the lesson?" she asked, innocently. She batted her eyelashes in a seductive way.

Artemis stared at her, but smiled. His hands fiddled with the collar line of her suit. "Lesson adjourned."

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Alright, now that was…interesting.

Review (pretty please with Artemis Fowl on top)

Sincerely,

ThyHuntress


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